Friedemann Schulz von Thun's four-sided model: understanding messages better

The four-sided model, also known as the communication square or message square, was developed by the German psychologist and communication scientist Friedemann Schulz von Thun. It states that every message has four aspects or sides: the factual content, the self-revelation, the relationship cue and the appeal. These aspects are always contained simultaneously in every message, whether consciously or unconsciously.

From Prof. Dr. Patrick PetersProfessor for PR, communication and digital media and Vice-Rector for Research and Teaching Material Development at the Allensbach University

Communication is known to be an essential part of our daily lives and influences both our personal and professional relationships. Despite its importance, misunderstandings and conflicts often arise, which are often due to unconscious communication patterns. This is where Friedemann Schulz von Thun's four-sided model comes in, offering a specific insight into the complexity of human communication. This model, also known as the communication square, explains that every message has four aspects: the factual content, the self-revelation, the relationship cue and the appeal. By understanding and consciously using these levels, we can avoid misunderstandings and significantly improve our communication.

All communication can be interpreted in many different ways

In his communication model, Friedemann Schulz von Thun identifies four sides to a message. All communication can be interpreted in many different ways. The factual content, self-revelation, relationship and appeal sides occur in every message:

• Factual contentThe level at which information and facts are communicated.
• Self-revelationThe aspect in which the speaker reveals something about himself, consciously or unconsciously.
• Relationship noteThis level expresses how the speaker sees his relationship to the recipient, which is manifested in tone of voice, facial expressions and gestures.
• AppealThe part of the message that expresses what the speaker wants the recipient to do, think or feel.

The model is frequently used in communication psychology and in training courses to improve communication. It is used in interpersonal communication, counseling, coaching and education.

The role of the model in science and practice

The four-sided model plays a central role in communication science and communication theory, as it represents the complexity of human communication in a simple but profound scheme. It provides a framework for analyzing communication processes and identifying misunderstandings. The model makes it clear that communication is multidimensional and consists not only of the exchange of information, but also of the expression of feelings, relationships and wishes.

In practical terms, the model can help to avoid misunderstandings and improve the quality of communication. By being aware of the four levels of a message, you can address the different aspects in a more targeted manner. For example, a conversation partner can recognize whether a misunderstanding is on the relationship level or on the factual level and react accordingly. The model also promotes self-reflection by encouraging speakers to think about their own self-revelation and their implicit appeals. In counseling and coaching, it helps to clarify conflicts and misunderstandings by making people aware of the different levels of communication and putting them up for discussion.

Practical example to illustrate the model

A typical example from practice could be a conversation between a line manager and an employee. The manager says: "You're late again."

• Factual contentThe information that the employee was late again.
• Self-revelationThe supervisor could be unconsciously expressing that he is frustrated or stressed.
• Relationship noteThe supervisor may communicate that he considers the employee to be unreliable in terms of the relationship level.
• AppealThe implicit appeal could be that the employee should be more punctual.

If the employee understands these four levels, they can respond in a differentiated way. They could acknowledge the factual content by saying: "Yes, that's true, I was late again today." At the self-disclosure level, they could respond empathetically: "I'm sorry, I understand that this is annoying for you." At the relationship level, he could clarify the relationship: "I hope that you still see me as a committed employee." And he could respond constructively to the appeal: "I will try to be more punctual in future." This differentiated response enables the employee to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts and improve communication. The four-sided model thus enables deeper and more reflective communication that minimizes misunderstandings and conflicts.

Dealing with conflicts in communication using the four-sided model

The four-sided model can make a significant contribution to avoiding conflicts in communication. By being aware of the different levels of a message, conflicting parties can communicate in a more targeted and conscious manner. They can recognize misunderstandings at an early stage and address the underlying problems. For example, they can find out whether a conflict is based on a misunderstanding of the relationship level or an unconscious appeal and act accordingly.

The concept of the vicious circle in communication plays a special role here. A vicious circle in communication is a self-reinforcing loop of negative interactions that is triggered by misunderstandings and unconscious reactions. In the context of the four-sided model, such a vicious circle can arise if the communication partners misunderstand or misinterpret the different levels of a message.

Let's assume a boss talks to his employee and says: "Your work results are not satisfactory." This statement contains the four levels of the four-sided model:

• Factual contentThe information that the work results do not meet expectations.
• Self-revelationThe boss may unconsciously express his disappointment or frustration.
• Relationship noteThe statement could imply that the boss considers the employee to be incompetent.
• AppealThe boss wants the employee to improve his performance.

The employee may now receive the message on a relational level and feel that the boss does not value or respect them. His reaction could be defensive or angry, which could be expressed in a statement such as "You never have anything good to say about my work". The boss, who in turn perceives the employee's response on a self-revelatory level as an attack or lack of insight, could react with increased criticism in order to channel his frustration: "If you don't start working more professionally, we're going to have problems."

Reinforcement, dynamics and breaking the vicious circle

This exchange intensifies because each side receives the messages mainly on a relationship level and reacts negatively accordingly. The employee continues to feel misunderstood and unappreciated, which leads to further defensive or passive-aggressive reactions. The boss, in turn, becomes increasingly frustrated and critical, which further demotivates the employee. The dynamics of such a vicious circle are based on the fact that both parties primarily communicate and react on the relationship level instead of consciously considering the other levels. This leads to an escalation in which both sides confirm and reinforce their negative expectations. The employee feels constantly criticized, while the boss feels increasing frustration at the lack of improvement in performance.

To break this vicious circle, it is necessary to consciously reflect on and address the different levels of communication. For example, the employee could say: "I understand that my work results do not meet your expectations (factual content). It is important for me to know what exactly needs to be improved (appeal). It frustrates me that I feel I can't do anything right for you (self-revelation). I would like to work on this and hope for constructive feedback (relationship advice)." The boss could also address the different levels: "I've noticed that there have been some problems with the work results recently (factual content). This frustrates me because I know that you have the potential to be much better (self-revelation). It's important to me that we have a positive working relationship (relationship cue), and I want to help you improve your performance (appeal)."

Conclusion

Friedemann Schulz von Thun's four-sided model offers a comprehensive and differentiated approach to human communication that goes far beyond the simple exchange of information. It makes it clear that every message contains multiple levels that are consciously or unconsciously conveyed by the sender and interpreted by the receiver. By consciously applying this model, misunderstandings can be recognized at an early stage and dealt with constructively, which is of great benefit in both personal and professional contexts. The value of the model is particularly evident in conflict-laden situations, as it enables communication partners to identify the actual causes of misunderstandings and address them in a targeted manner. The vicious circle of communication, a self-reinforcing spiral of negative interactions, can be broken by understanding and applying the four sides of communication, leading to significantly improved interpersonal understanding. Overall, the Four Sides Model provides a valuable framework for deciphering the complexity of human communication and contributing to a more harmonious coexistence.